We are
very happy to welcome Luki Vasquez and Sonny Bly James to the Smoocher’s Voice
blog today. Sonny and Luki have been together for 11 years, and they have been
married now for 10 years. In story book fashion, the two men’s eyes met across
a parking lot, and that was the beginning of a tense and sometimes tragic
relationship. Their relationship seems to be the epitome of William Shakespeare’s
maxim “The course of true love never did run smooth.”
Jodi: Hello gentlemen. It is nice to meet you.
Let’s start with introductions. Please tell us a little about yourselves.
Sonny: (Clears throat) Well, I waited for Luki to speak up, but it looks
like he’s not going to, so I’ll begin. First let me say thank you, Jodi and
Smoocher’s Voice, for having us on your blog—
Luki: Without Ms. Sylvre here trying to control
everything—that’s what makes it nice!
Sonny: Uh, Luki, let’s not get into your attitude
about our author. She’s been nothing but good to us, and please don’t
interrupt. ‘Kay?
Luki: ‘Kay. Sorry. (He rolls his
eyes here, so perhaps he is not totally sincere.)
Sonny: So, the basics. I’m nearly 40 years old! God
that’s surprising, and what’s even more surprising is that Luki still acts like
I’m the most beautiful man that ever walked the planet.
Luki
interrupts: You are! And I love you.
Sonny: That’s great, honey. Thank you. But don’t
interrupt, please! So... let’s see. Where was I? Um, I’m about 6’2” tall, and I
tower over Luki, who is—
Luki interrupts again: Tower! Aren’t you
exaggerating a bit! You’re only two inches taller than me!
Sonny: (rolls his eyes) Well, I know officially that’s true Luki, but... uh, I hate to
break it to you, but I think you might have lost an inch or two. It happens
with old age—
Luki: Old age! Dammit Sonny, I’m only 51!
Sonny: (just keeps talking) —you
lose a little disk height in your spine, start to bend a little under the
weight of the years.
Luki: Sonny, sweetie. You’re the one with the back aches.
Sonny: It’s not very nice to
bring that up, Luki. I mean, it’s hereditary, they tell me.
Luki: Like, what, all tribal members of Yakama Nation have it?
Sonny: (Glares) Of course not! Do
all blue-eyed people who are half Hawaiian go out of their way to be rude to
their husbands during an interview?
Luki: (Hangs head, speaks very
quietly) Sorry... And I don’t know. I’m the only person like that I’ve ever
met.
Sonny: (Shakes his head) Damn, husband. You sure know how to annoy me.
Good thing I love you so much. Now stop interrupting. I was going to tell the
people we’ve been married for ten years, and we have one child, a little girl
named Jade.
Luki:
Small interruption?
Sonny: Okay.
Luki:
Jade is absolutely a gift... That’s all.
Sonny: (smiles, nods) Yeah. That she is. About me, I’m a weaver of
pictorial tapestries and other stuff. I hold a doctorate in fiber arts and I
enjoy teaching at times. I inherited some land on the Olympic Peninsula from my
uncle, and that’s where we make our family home. Um... your turn, Luki.
Luki:
Oh! Well, I grew up in Nebraska. I’m considered a badass by most people.
Sonny: But he’s really soft and
mushy and sweet on the inside.
Luki: (Looks horrified) Mushy!
I am not mushy! And I used to be a federal agent, and I own a security company,
and I play with guns for a living, and I like to cook, dammit, and that’s all!
(Mumbling: mushy! He is so in
trouble.)
Jodi: Luki,
when you first met Sonny, you had left the ATF and were running your own
security agency. Why did you choose this profession? Why did you leave the ATF?
Luki: I
assume you mean, why did I choose law enforcement, in general?
Jodi: Yes.
Luki: Well...
it kind of chose me, I guess. I, uh, have a lot of skills that come in handy,
including various martial arts, handling weapons, and.... Well, believe it or
not, being emotionally shut down can really help in the profession, especially
if you’re dealing with major crimes—career criminals who are fairly good at
getting away with what they do. My dad... spent a lot of time, effort, and
resources making sure I’d be good at that sort of thing, and being an agent was
the thing I was best qualified for.
Sonny: Honey, that’s not all
there is to it. You know that. Think about what you promised me on our wedding
day.
Luki: (Reaches over and grabs
Sonny’s hand, brings it to his lips for a kiss and winks [I swear it] at Sonny.
Then he holds Sonny’s hand in both of his as he continues.) Yes, Sonny’s
right. He usually is. What he means is, I’ve got this... thing, this need or burning
desire as some might say, to keep people safe—innocent people shouldn’t have to
bear the brunt of other people’s bad behavior. It seems to be something that’s
rooted deep in me—like an extra rib or something. So yeah, law enforcement was
a good fit for me.
I
chose ATF because, contrary to what a lot of people think, the agency is
responsible for a huge portion of public safety, especially in the firearms
division. And, since I was able to qualify as a firearms expert, I thought I
could do some good. I did, too. But I left the agency because its figurative
hands are tied in political knots, in particular in terms of their
responsibilities with firearms. Bear in mind, I’m a gun owner, and I don’t
think of guns as evil—but there’s a lot of bad people out there. In my
experience, it’s way too easy for them to stockpile arms for their private
wars, and way too hard to prosecute the law. It’s frustrating to try to keep
the public safe from ill-intentioned people and have the US Senate cripple you.
A lot of people don’t believe it when I tell them about it, so I wrote down
this link to a NY Times article about
it, and I keep it in my wallet. There’s more to it, but this is a good start
for those who want to know.
So
anyway. I left ATFE (the E is for explosives), but I still have this drive to
keep people safe. I run an elite private agency, and I get to do that,
sometimes. And it’s been pretty successful, and I’m my own boss. What’s not to
like?
Jodi: Sonny,
art seems to be a central focus in your life. Tell us a little about your art?
Why have you chosen this medium and why do you create your own dye? What
inspires your art?
Sonny: Taking that last question
first, I’m most inspired by beauty. I want to be clear that beauty doesn’t mean
perfection. Perfection would be boring as hell. A rose is more beautiful if one
of the petals is twisted or torn. A man is more beautiful when his history has
left its mark. Fortunately for me, perfection is nowhere to be found in nature
or humankind, so I have much to choose from. Emotion inspires me as well, and
color has emotional meaning for me. I can’t put that in other words, because it
isn’t a thing of language. It’s what I feel.
You know, I never thought
of doing anything but art. As an undergrad at Western Washington University, I
studied all the basics, life-drawing, color mixing in light, and color mixing
by pigment, art history, various media. I’ve done a few watercolors over the
years, but I love the feel of certain textiles, and the way they bring the
colors to life. My aunt was a Tlingit basket weaver, and I learned about
natural dyes from her when I was just a kid. The first weaving I ever did was a
few baskets with her help, too. I don’t know why but I was never driven to
pursue Native American weaving arts per se—baskets and cedar bark clothing, or
blankets, bead weaving, what have you. But I did love the rhythm involved in
weaving. I love the way it occupies me completely, takes me out of myself so I
don’t have to do any worrying or figuring about life’s problems. And strangely,
that helps me solve any problems I have.
I first became fascinated
with pictorial tapestry during an art history course. We looked at slides of a
tapestry from the 16th century usually known as the Wawel Arras. I was struck
by how three dimensional it was—the border of the tapestry actually looks like
a three dimensional frame, but the central image group overlaps it. I admired
also the way realistic images were juxtaposed or decorated with symbols. And
the colors—using simple dyes, 16th century tapestry makers managed to create a
palate of rich, vibrant, harmonious color. So I got myself a simple loom and
turned out a few pieces, and by the time I started grad school there was no
doubt in my mind what I wanted to do.
One other thing, I enjoy
teaching. One good thing about being an expert in your field—everyone wants
what you have, in the way of knowledge. Teaching, especially if I have a chance
to know the students, is much like tapestry-making for me. You find the key
pieces of knowledge that will help the student find their colors and images.
There’s even a rhythm of give and take, forward and back. It’s good.
Jodi: Did your experience in
Europe change your passion for art?
Sonny: No, not at all. Even though I was in Paris
because of my art, I didn’t connect the bad experiences with it in my mind. The
only thing that happened was I had to be patient, because at first, after I
recovered, I didn’t have the stamina and nimbleness to weave as I usually do.
Jodi: Let’s talk a little about
when the two of you first met. Neither of you were exactly looking for a
relationship: Luki was not used to trusting people, and Sonny was living like a
recluse. Why did the two of you decide to meet at Margie’s for coffee?
Luki: Sonny met me there because I asked him and he couldn’t resist.
Sonny: True enough, husband. And
you asked me because you couldn’t help yourself.
Luki: That seems accurate. I still can’t help myself.
Sonny: And I still can’t resist.
But I would like to make it clear why I had chosen to live mostly alone. You
said Luki couldn’t trust. Well, neither could I. But the person I could trust
the least was myself—I couldn’t take a chance I’d end up broken because I’d
been a fool, so I didn’t risk anything. But when Luki looked at me, there on
the boulevard, he really saw me—I could feel it. And when I saw him, I saw such
beauty—physically, but something more. It might even be described as an aura,
though not visual. And even though I didn’t think it through then, I think that
somewhere deep down I was conscious of the idea that if such a man as Luki saw me, and even after I mouthed off,
wanted to talk to me, maybe I might
have something to offer. I told myself I wouldn’t meet him the next day. I told
myself that right up until I sat down at the table and did indeed make a big
fool of myself. (Sonny grins, and laughs, and then lets his head fall for a few
seconds to Luki’s shoulder.)
Luki: (Hugs Sonny quickly, and plants a quick kiss on top of his
head.) Uh... When I saw Sonny that day, and spoke to him about Margie’s, I was
pretty sure I was making a great big mistake. You see, I had schooled myself
well, and I was quite used to being able to see a lovely man and not be moved
by that at all unless I was at a club and thinking about hooking up for a few
hours. But I couldn’t not look at him. He said, “What are you looking at?” And
part of me wanted to pop him one, but this other part of me was hurt. And then I watched him some more,
and there was some voice or something that told me he’d hurt himself when he
said that, that he was... afraid maybe. And I wanted to have a chance for him
to not hurt me, and I wanted to not be... a stranger who somehow managed to
hurt him. Not a very good explanation, I know. Was it love at first sight? No.
Was it lust at first sight? I’d have to say yes. But that’s not all it was.
Something about him touched something about me, right in those first few
minutes. Best I can do.
Jodi: That first meeting didn’t
go very well. What prompted the decision to “try again”?
Luki: See all that stuff I answered to the last question. It didn’t
go away. But when everything I did (even though it was all pretty out of
character for me) failed, I did sort of give up and locked the feelings up.
That chance meeting on the beach when I was doing tai chi pretty much unlocked
them.
Sonny: You know, after Luki
didn’t show the next morning, I pretty much felt heartbroken. And when several
days went by and no word, I realized I’d once again blown it big time. I didn’t
blame him, but I did realize he had pretty much nothing in common with me, so I
decided to just let it go. That kiss, on the beach that day, I regretted it
instantly. Not because I didn’t like it. Because I could have continued to
touch him for days if I had the chance. But I do have a fair bit of
self-control, and I told myself no, and to be honest, if that awful shit that
happened in Margie’s apartment hadn’t thrown us together, I don’t think would
have got together. But, damn, I’m glad we did!
Jodi: Tai
chi is an important practice for Luki. Luki, what was going through your mind
when you were teaching Sonny tai chi on the beach?
Luki: Oh, Saint Christopher help me. It’s a good thing I’ve been
practicing and teaching tai chi for so long, because that enabled me to go
through the moves with him in a more or less normal fashion. But every move he
made was so naturally beautiful, so graceful—I know he thinks of himself as
kind of a bumbler, but he’s not. I’ve never known anyone that so very securely
occupies their own body. Sounds strange, but yeah. I wanted to touch every
curve and angle, spend forever at it. I still do—and now sometimes I get to. (Luki smiles here and bobs his eyebrows,
which is hella cute.)
Jodi: Sonny,
did the tai chi lesson give you a different perspective of the badass façade
Luki was portraying?
Sonny: I don’t think it did,
Jodi. But I’ll confess, I kind of saw him as more human than that right from
the start. If all I’d seen was badass, I wouldn’t have been so cognizant of his
beauty, and as I said, that struck me right away, knocked me off balance.
Jodi: Luki,
I know this is a sensitive issue for you, but can you explain how the assault
when you were 13 changed the course of your life?
Luki: Wow. Good question. What really changed that night was my father,
and how I looked at him. Sure, a trauma like that affects a person’s psyche,
and it’s true—Ronny Jemison’s nasty words actually woke me up, made me see
myself more clearly. Not because I hadn’t wanted to see before that, just
nothing had made me need to see myself as gay, as different. Sometimes, I
wonder how I might have changed if my father didn’t turn my entire life into a
self-defense lesson after that. There’s just no way I can sort that out. As a
result of what he said and did, I grew up a very capable man, careful,
controlled in every way. I’m absolutely sure I wouldn’t have become that Luki
if it hadn’t been for the incident and my father, but I would have been the same
person. Where does that lead? I don’t know.
Jodi: Sonny,
I know this is a difficult question for you, but can you tell us about Delsyn
and how his life and death impacted you?
Sonny: There is nothing about me,
except my weaving, that Delsyn didn’t impact. I loved the boy, and when I saw
his life turning out like my childhood, I talked to my uncle Melvern and he
helped me bring him home to raise him—I was still underage and couldn’t have
made that happen on my own. He was a lot of fun, but he was also a
responsibility that I was by no means ready for. I was still trying to work out
the shit from my own younger days. I always felt like I was floundering with my
responsibilities toward him, and that made me want to escape my self. I won’t go into what I did because
of that, but you know if you’ve read Lou’s books. By the time I grew up enough
to really care for him—he’d become so independent that he wouldn’t let me. And,
lest you or the readers don’t know, raising a child is like a contract between
you and them. If they won’t let you parent them, there’s no way you can do it.
I started to think things were getting better—I had Luki and we were becoming a
family. Then he died. Every part of me hurt for his absence. And every
self-doubt I’d ever had surfaced. I crucified myself on should have, and why, and
if it wasn’t for Luki, that time, I would not have come out of it.
Jodi: Luki,
your life has been tumultuous throughout the past 10 years. Sonny, of course,
has been a constant strong presence. Do you feel you have changed a lot as a
person because of Sonny?
Luki: Can I just say yes, and leave it at that? No, I’m kidding. I
haven’t changed. Not really. I feel like I’m a little closer now to being
outwardly the person I always have been, inside. Sonny changed me because he
loved me, and saw me as beautiful—which still amazes me. But also he changed me
because he was somehow capable of allowing me to love him, at first, in the
limited ways I would let it be manifest.
Sonny: Manifest?
Luki: Yes, Manifest. I went to college. One thing I know now, Jodi,
is it’s not possible to be open to love, but not open yourself to pain and fear
and grief, or joy and laughter and peace. So yeah. I was living a grainy film
noire, and Sonny rendered me in full color HD. Right?
Jodi: Sonny, how has your life
changed because of Luki?
Sonny: First, let me say
something. I have most certainly not always been there for Luki. Luki is the
one who always lets his doubts or fears go in order to be there for me, to make
sure I’m okay. I can’t begin to tell you the number of times when he’s let me
crawl up under his shelter until I’m able to deal with life again. Yeah, I know
he’s full of self-doubt, and has way more anxiety than shows, but when I need
him, he’s strong.
Luki: When you need me, you make me strong, baby. That’s how it
works.
Sonny: Yeah, I suppose so. But
really, that’s how Luki has most changed my life. Only one other person in my
life had ever let me need, not
thought less of me for it. That was my uncle, Melvern. But I was young then and
couldn’t take advantage of what that meant. But Luki loves me thoroughly,
through and through, and he lets me need him without making me feel like I’m less. He makes it safe for me to let him
love me, and for me to love him without reserve. Of course there are a lot of
other ways he’s changed me, but that’s at the heart of it.
Jodi: Not
to put you on the spot, but Sonny what is one of your favorite things about
being married to Luki?
Sonny: Just one? Really? Okay,
well... if I have to choose, I kind of like the sex. (Sonny starts laughing like Woody Woodpecker, and Luki smiles, watching
him out of the corner of his eye.)
Jodi: Luki,
smiling is not something you used to do a lot. What does Sonny do that makes
you smile?
Luki: He calls me husband, and says things like, “I kind of like the
sex.”
Jodi: Tell us about Jade and how
she has impacted your lives and household.
(Both
are quiet for a few minutes. They exchange looks, hold hands. Luki fiddles with
Sonny’s wedding ring. Finally Luki speaks up.) I
can’t begin to tell you what it’s like to have a little girl to love in a brand
new way. She teaches me, both of us I think. (Sonny nods.) Sometimes I even remember how full of wonder the
world was when I was six years old.
Jodi: What is next for the two
of you and your family?
Sonny: (smiles) Raising Jade. Getting a couple rocking chairs so we can
grow
Luki: Jade wants a horse. That’s going
to come before the rocking chair part.
About
Lou Sylvre
Lou
hails from southern California but now lives and writes on the rainy side of
Washington State. When she’s not writing, she’s reading fiction from nearly
every genre, romance in all its tints and shades, and the occasional book about
history, physics, or police procedure. Not zombies, though. Her personal
assistant is Boudreau, a large cat who never outgrew his kitten meow.
Lou plays
guitar (mostly where people can’t hear her) and she loves to sing. She’s usually
smiling and laughs too much, some say. She also loves her family, her friends,
the aforementioned Boudreau, a Chihuahua named Joe, and (in random order)
coffee, chocolate, sunshine, and wild roses.
Reclusive weaver Sonny Bly James controls every color and shape
in his tapestries, but he can’t control the pattern of his life—a random
encounter with Luki Vasquez, ex-ATF agent and all-around badass, makes that
perfectly clear. The mutual attraction is immediate, but love-shy Sonny has
retreated from life, and Luki wears his visible and not-so-visible scars like
armor. Neither can bare his soul with ease.
While they run from desire, they can’t hide from the evil that
hunts them. After it becomes clear that a violent stalker has targeted Sonny,
Luki’s protective instincts won’t let him run far, especially when Sonny’s
family is targeted as well. Whether they can forgive or forget, Sonny and Luki
will have to call a truce and work together to save Sonny’s nephew and fight an
enemy intent on making sure loving Luki Vasquez is the last mistake Sonny will
ever make.
Sonny James and Luki Vasquez are living proof that the course of
love never runs smoothly. Ambushed by grief, Sonny listens to a voice singing
the blues from beyond the grave. While revisiting the sorrows and failings of
his past, in the here and now he puts up a wall against love. Just when Luki
chips through that barricade, the couple becomes the target of a new threat
from outside: an escalating and unexplainable rash of break-ins and assaults.
Thoughts of infidelity rise between them, a threat that may
strain their newly mended love past its limits. To come through the trials
alive and together, Luki and Sonny will have to unite against enemies who were
once friends and overcome crippling hatred and overwhelming fear. If they
succeed, maybe then they can rekindle the twin flames of passion and love.
Luki Vasquez and Sonny Bly
James finally have their Hawaiian wedding, and it's perfect, almost. But their
three-phase honeymoon is riddled with strife. Luki's status as a working badass
spells discord for the newlyweds. A former informant from Luki’s days with ATFE
brings a troubling message (or is it a warning?) from a Mob hit man. When
Luki’s sixteen-year-old nephew, Jackie, is lured into capture and torture by a
sadistic killer, the honeymoon is well and truly over.
The couple put aside their
differences and focus on the grueling hunt, which takes them from leather bars
to dusty desert back roads, and calls on Sonny’s deep compassion as well as
Luki’s sharpest skills. Their world threatens to fall apart if they fail, but
their love may grow stronger than ever if they succeed in finding Jackie—before
it’s too late.
Luki Vasquez and his still
newlywed husband are back home after pulling off a harrowing desert rescue of
their teenage nephew Jackie. But the events of the last couple of years have
begun to catch up with Luki—loving Sonny James and letting Sonny love him back
has left gaps in his emotional armor. In the gunfight that secured Jackie’s
rescue, Luki’s bullet killed a young guard, an innocent boy in Luki’s mind. In
the grip of PTSD, memories, flashbacks, and nightmares consume him, and he
falls into deep, almost vegetative depression.
Sonny devotes his days to
helping Luki, putting his own career on hold, even passing up a European tour
of galleries and schools—an opportunity that might never come again. But when
Luki’s parasomnia turns his nightmares into real-world terror, it breaks the
gridlock. Sonny realizes what he’s doing isn’t working, and he says yes to
Europe. Enter Harold Breslin, a dangerously intelligent artist’s promoter and
embezzler whose obsessive desire for Sonny is exceeded only by his narcissism.
When Harold’s plan for Sonny turns poisonous, Luki must break free of PTSD and
get to France fit and ready in time to save his husband’s life.
Professional badass Luki
Vasquez and textile artist Sonny James have been married for five years, and
despite the sometimes volatile mix, they’re happy. From their first days
together, they stood united against deadly enemies and prevailed. But now the
deadly enemy they face is the cancer thriving inside Luki, consuming his lungs.
As Luki’s treatment
proceeds, Sonny hovers near, determined to provide every care, control every
thread of possibility just as he does when he weaves. But he can’t control the
progress of the cancer or how Luki’s body reacts to the treatment regime. Sonny
tries, but Luki dances with cancer alone—until he gets a startling reminder of
the miracle of life. With renewed determination and mutual love, the two men
emerge from their coldest winter into a new spring day.
Through June 2013, 100% of
author royalties for this title will be donated to a charity for cancer research.
.jpg)
Luki Vasquez receives the
news he’s still cancer free after five years, and he wants to celebrate with
his whole family. He and his husband, Sonny James, take a road trip south,
intending to gather at the home of his nephew Josh, Josh’s wife Ruthie, and Jade—a
little girl who was still in the womb when she and her mother helped Luki beat
lung cancer.
Halfway to their
destination, Luki learns Josh and Ruthie have met a tragic death. The horrible
news lays Luki low, but he pulls himself together in time to be the family’s
rock and see to the dreaded business of tying up loose ends. The most important
business is Jade, and when Luki and Sonny head home, they take Jade with them.
Luki and Sonny must combat
self-doubt and fear and help each other learn to parent an unexpected child—and
they must also nourish the love that has kept them whole for the past ten
years. A relative’s spurious claim to Jade threatens the new family, and even
if they prevail in court, they could lose their little girl unless they can rescue
Jade from evil hands and true peril.
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